Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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