just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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