so that wasnt chicken after all
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize