What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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