Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize