She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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