I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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