I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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