either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize