I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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