the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize