You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize