I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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