YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize