he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
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He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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