That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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