One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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