Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
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He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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