so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize