i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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