you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
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I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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