She is in my trunk
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize