Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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