it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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