Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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