K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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