she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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