Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize