wat bout pragnant strippers??
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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