yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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