you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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