were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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