The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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