I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize