it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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