How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How drunk are you?
Completed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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