you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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