do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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