i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize