I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize