i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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