I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize