Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
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Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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