I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize