But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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