I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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