Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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