I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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