Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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