five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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